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About Me: Firsts!

16 Sep

I decided to take part in one of these “tagged” memes on flickr. You answer some questions about yourself and then tag the people you want to answer them after you. Cerrie Janus tagged me a few months ago, and I’m finally reciprocating :). Don’t worry, I didn’t tag you. 😉

About Me: Firsts

(Click to view large.)

There I am: little miss Themapants! It’s not often I share so much of my real life on this blog. That’s pretty refreshing, to be honest 🙂

Outfit Details Below:

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You had me at “O hai”

23 Sep

You had me at 'O hai'

You’ve seen the avatars. They’re dressed alike. They fill their profiles with couple photos and violent declarations of eternal devotion. They don custom titles that read, “Mrs. _____”, “I love ____!!”, and “____’s hubby!”
Well, that’s the public face, anyway. But what do these pairs of mush and adoration sound like in private? Below, I’ve shared my guesses on what is actually spoken behind closed doors. Feel free to share your own! 😉

“You’re the most beautiful Ruth I’ve ever laid ALT+Click on.”
“Mmm, sweetie…let me enter your chat range.”
“Poseballs are red, poseballs are blue. My balls aren’t complete without you.”
“Your bling lights up my life.”
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Empty Barrels

22 Aug

I’m having a hard time connecting. As simple as that sentence is to utter, the thoughts and emotions behind it are anything but orderly.

I’m so tired. I’m tired of wanting intimate, true connections with life—with my friends, my passions, and my loved ones—and having my efforts and my wishes fall flat. I’m also physically tired, as if no amount of caffeine or determination can rouse my body.

I can be a vibrant, powerful person as long as my “tank” (the reservoir of love, energy, motivation, and ideas that propel me through my lives) is full. But for some reason that tank is slowly evaporating. I’m bent over the lip of this tank—this barrel of resources—scooping at the seams where the last moisture resides and slurping at air just to feel sustained. I need to be filled up. But where do I go?

I can’t really call myself “depressed,” though I suppose some might classify it as such. I can’t say I’m sad; my life is going well, and although I have some worries, I should not complain for a moment. I’m so blessed, so able, and best of all: I am loved. I wish that singular Truth would get through my thick skull and satisfy me. But here I am, asking, quite selfishly, for more. But what do I desire? Do I need to have deep conversations? Do I need physical touch? Am I lacking intellectual stimulation? Do I need more outside affirmation? I want the joy of life to occur without outside effort (why put others to work at fixing your heart?), so I sincerely think the issues are basically internal.I can’t blame anyone else for my lack of motivation, absence of thrill, and seemingly endless supply of isolation.

So here I am, baring what’s actually going on inside to people who doesn’t even know who I am. I suppose I could post this in my RL blog, but I tend to keep things private there, too.

How does an extrovert become so internalized?

I will tear myself away from this heavy funk, put on my dancing shoes, and find a way back to the music in no time. Thema will be Thema! I’m sure of it.

Your next door neighbor has an avatar…

29 Apr

… and you may never know it—not unless you hack their computer, get their avatar to reveal way too much personal information, or hear them speaking of their virtual gaming habits in public.

But what do you do when you want to find out if someone you know has an avatar? This is my question to you. Without revealing you have one, how can you ferret that information out?

You see, there’s a girl at work who I think might know about it. I’d love to find out about her avie—if she has one—but I want to do it surreptitiously. I was once in her office asking a question and I could have sworn I saw the sign of the apocalypse S.eL hand on her screen for a split second. Months later, I’m still wondering about it! What if I made it up? What if I didn’t?

I greatly value the anonymity of my avatar (but I guess I have no shame about butting into someone else’s business). I like that only a few very select people know about my involvement in S.eL Even fewer know how I spend my time there. I am very much “myself” the whole time; I don’t put on a mask to change personalities. Eventually my aviepals even get to know my real name, how I make a living, or where I live. But it’s my choice who knows what, ya dig? I like having the freedom to reveal myself in bits and pieces while still acting just like me.

So… this chick. I have got to be a hypocrite and find out if she’s in S.eL!

Are you in SLove?

3 Apr

Unofficial poll time!

Are you in SLove?

  1. hecks yeah! *dreamy faint*
  2. more like SLike than SLove
  3. i don’t do virtual romance, thankyouverymuch
  4. i only take my candy from strangers
  5. single and looking!
  6. why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?
  7. i’m open to it, but neither have it nor need it right now
  8. other (explain yourself!)